Wednesday, June 30, 2004
nakakatawa yung salo salo last night sa st. peter... 8pm pa lang tapos na.. parang talagang meant na mag eat and run lang ang mga tao... in a way okay naman ang pagpunta ko because i find it funny din na ang dami naming iniisip ni jaja na pareho...
and then pag-uwi ni mommy, nanuod kami ng chinese vcd (with english subtitle) hotelier yung title.. super relate ako nung una kasi nag work din ako for a while sa hotel as practicumer... and biglang naalala ko yung employee's area ng mandarin hotel... almost same kasi pati sa gamit sa kitchen... aliw... late na si achi umuwi pero i find it nice na pumayag siya na samahan ako sa rp ng maaga...
~~~
Kanina we went to rp to check yung sa E Hong's baka may mabili ako doon na mura and baka doon na ako makahanap ng chef.. sana nga kasi i've been praying for it para naman mag move forward na yung food stall namin... medyo kinakabahan na din ako kasi nababagalan ako sa kilos ko...mukhang kukuha na ako ng assistant ko... well, okay naman yung mga things except that mahal talaga yung cost nung mga gamit... hmm.. hindi ko tuloy alam kung alin ang kukunin ko doon... and to find out na yung kausap ko pala ay friend ng kapartner ni mommy... super small world
nag-ikot ikot kami ni achi sa rp to check for rubber shoes and bag... may mga okay naman... pero papabili ako ng sketchers kay daddy =)
~~~
Pag-uwi ko tumawag si jackie of themes and motifs... akala ko may nahanap na siya na ka share ko sa booth.. yun pala wala... pero nakapili na ako ng slot for that... h8 yung pinili ko.. 8 para masaya.. ahahaha pero honestly, kinakabahan din ako, not with the event but with the company, hindi ko kasi alam ano na ang mangyayari... mukhang ako na ang nagpapatakbo kahit na hindi dapat... parang hindi ko alam kung ano ang stand ng bawat isa... hindi ko alam kung paano pero sana maayos na ito... it's killing me...
right now, i'm enjoying da vinci code... buti na lang pumayag si achi na iwanan muna niya sa akin habang naglalakwatsa siya with mai mai....
dito si fred ngayon, blessing na din, atleast nahiwalay for a while si ahia sa computer ...
visited dreamland @ 4:51 PM
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
The Way You Look At Me - Christian Bautista
No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up to
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes say everything without a single word
CHORUS
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You made me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me
If I could freeze some moment in my mind
Be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stand still
'Cause, baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel
[Repeat CHORUS]
BRIDGE
I don't know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens every time
[Repeat CHORUS]
CODA
The way you look at me
~~~
Listening to this song.. naaaliw ako...
kanina pa dapat ako may ginagawa pero hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko.. wala si ahia kaya nag computer na lang ako the whole day..
hay may patutunguhan kaya ang buhay ngayong ganito lang ang ginagawa ko??
visited dreamland @ 3:59 PM
inaantok pa ako.. pero kailangan ko na bumagon dahil sobra sobra na an tulog ko... ang weird pa nga ng dream ko eh.. parang super crazy...
konti lang ang nasa ym ngayon ... and konti lang din yung email na na receive ko... kaya after ko ma blog ipapatay ko na ang computer...
hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko today...
visited dreamland @ 12:02 PM
Monday, June 28, 2004
share ko ito sa mga makakabasa nito..
this is is take from the book "living synergistically"
given to me by PSI ...
binabasa ko lang siya paulit ulit ngayon to help me face the world tinatamaan kasi ako...and i hope in a way you learn something.
Webster defines "giving" as "to make a present of." How often does man truly give without the thought of something in return? when you give love, you expect love in return. When you give understanding to someone, you expext them to be understanding un return. When you give a gift, you usually expect a gift back, or you expect that the person will like you or respect you more for having been given a gift. Few give just to give.
With this "I will if you will" attitude, disillusionment with the concept is likely to occur. When a person does not receive exactly or, perhaps, even more than that which was given, the tendency is to become hurt or even hostile and angry towards others. What we fail to realize is that all people have choices. they are individuals just as we are. Because different people are motivated by different things, they may not respond in exactly the way we might want them to respond. it takes little effort to love and give to those who give and love in return, but this is not what the law teaches. Feelings of resentment turn into revenge and cause inner turmoil, sickness, and misery. When man wishes ill for another, he is issuing the order for destruction to come into his own life.
visited dreamland @ 5:32 PM
i woke up today na hindi ko alam ano ang gagawin.. hindi kasi ako nag plano since i am not in a good mood yesterday... and also naubos ang hapon sa kakaisip ko sa mga bagay bagay...
naisip ko lang na why do i feel na ako na lang lagi yung mali everytime may hindi magandang nangyayari... parang pinapakita sa akin ng mundo na lagi na lang ako nakakasakit ng tao... pero bakit hindi alam ng nakararami na nasasaktan din ako...
and then naalala ko si clara.. hate na hate nya yung mga victim song kasi siguro ayaw na niya maging victim ulit..
parang right now, nagtatalo sa akin yung being strong and being weak...
andami dami ko pa naisip...
then nakita ko yung book na "if i really wanted to be happy i would..."
nag browse around ako... to see kung alin dun yung makaka help sa akin...
1. Choose to see the best in others
2. Make the call i've been putting off
3. Give and receive more hugs
4. Be quick to ask forgiveness
5. Give up the idea of changing others
pero right now, hindi ko alam kung makakatulong nga siya or mas lalo lang ako ma co confuse
anyways, God responded din naman... i was so happy to receive jaja's email... parang it made me feel na may nakakaintindi din pala... and in a way naging mas okay na ako after reading that letter....
visited dreamland @ 5:00 PM
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Late ako sa mass kanina... super antok pa kasi.. parang medyo sure ako na tom matutulog ako til lunch para bawi...
here i am again, felt so sad... parang lagi na lang na kailangan ko mag extra effort para maging close sa mga tao and then what.. parang hindi naman na aappreciate... parang i felt bad for myself na sana hindi ko sinanay na maging at home sa mga kasama ko para anytime na mang-iwan sila or gusto ko humiwalay.. okay lang..and it would not be hard din on my part... parang right now, it taught me a lesson... parang it's not about being in the most okay group... but being with a friend who will be there when you need them most, being with someone who will really accept you for who you are... but anyways, eh ano kung iwanan na ako ng ibang tao... why would i feel bad??? eh diba nga when we cry, the world wouldn't cry naman with us... madami pa naman dyan na taong may busilak na kalooban... =) sorry lord, gusto ko lang mag unload...
anyways, what really strucked me most today is the 2 young kids i met sa church. si jonas and si nichol. they are not st. peter parishoners but they want to celebrate with us. nahiligan na nila magpunta sa mga fiesta ng iba't ibang parokya...
naisip ko na when i was young.. iba ang hilig ko... at age 12 grade 4 ata ako nun or grade 5... ahahahaha parang wala akong hilig nung mga panahong iyon.... pero i'm sure na hindi ko pa ka close si jesus nun... parang swerte nila na at young age alam na nila kung sino ang pinaka okay na lapitan pag may problema ka...
okay din ang homily nila bishop bacani.. " i am not perfect but i am forgiven" parang naging hopeful ako kasi people would feel na stronger now that they know na God mend broken hearts (hindi ito pang lovers ah)
went home so sleepy....
visited dreamland @ 7:04 PM
People ask me if I miss you
I don't know what to say
Because I think of you often
And things remind me of you every day
I check my emails all the time
I want to know that you are safe and well
Each time my phone goes I am hoping its you
With something important and exciting to tell
Does that mean I miss you, I do not know
I will admit that I am lonely and sad
But I think I miss what I thought we were
Rather than what we actually had
You can't miss someone if you never let them go
And you can't miss someone that wasn't yours
So I guess my answer is no, I'm not missing you
But then why is my heart still going through the wars?
visited dreamland @ 1:10 AM
grabe ang sarap mag blog pag walang nagmamadali sa computer...
naalala ko xx3...
super thankful ako to be part of this group... i could not forget how i felt so loved kahit na sandali lang kami nagkasama... (sa mga makakabasa nito na part ng xx3, remember what i shared after the trust fall??) thankful din ako for the support they gave me... now, i am living my pcs na =)
~~~
The day I met you
I found a friend -
And a friendship that
I pray will never end.
Your smile - so sweet
And so bright -
Kept me going
When day was as dark as night.
You never ever judged me,
You understood my sorrow.
Then you told me it needn't be that way
And gave me the hope of a better tomorrow.
You were always there for me,
I knew I could count on you.
You gave me advice and encouragement
Whenever I didn't know what to do.
You helped me learn to love myself
You made life seem so good.
You said I can do anything I put my mind to
And suddenly I knew I could.
There were times when we didn't see eye to eye
And there were days when both of us cried.
But even so we made it through:
Our friendship hasn't yet died.
Circumstances have pulled us apart,
We are separated by many miles.
Truly, the only thing that keeps me going
Is my treasured memory of your smile.
This friendship we share
Is so precious to me,
I hope it grows and flourishes
And lasts unto infinity.
You are so extra-special to me
And so this to you I really must tell:
You are my one true friend,
My Guardian Angel.
Our friendship is one-in-a-million
So let's hold on to it and each other.
We cannot let this chance of pure bliss fly away
For there will never be another.
I love you.
I will always love you.
visited dreamland @ 12:54 AM
Saturday, June 26, 2004
grabe, i felt so tired and stressed...
kahit nakatambay lang kasi ako dito sa haus marami pa ring ginagawa...
i want to spend time with myself..
i want to know myself more...
basta gusto ko magpahinga ang mag reflect ng matagal...
sa lugar na tahimik
sa lugar na may batis
sa lugar na madaming puno
ngayon ko lang ito naramdaman....
~~~
Look at me
i may never pass for a perfect bride
or a perfect daughter
can it be
i'm not meant to play this part?
now i see
that if i were truely to be myself
i would break my family's heart
who is that girl i see
staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone i don't know?
somehow i cannot hide, though i've tried
When will my reflection show, who i am inside?
When will my reflection show, who i am inside?
visited dreamland @ 11:55 PM
God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I can not change...
Courage to
change the things I can
and Wisdom to
know the difference...
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.
~~~
I just find this prayer appropriate for me today...
parang in one scenario happened today i feelt 2 things
1. as you sow, so shall you reap...
parang bumbalik na sa akin yung mga times when i was bad to a person... dati when i was bad , i didn't involve the emotional side of me...pero ngayon medyo na feel ko na siya... God has a very effective way of teaching talaga...
2. since pinasok ko ito.. na naging bad ako to somebody and right now bumabalik na sa akin itong bad deed na ito... papanindigan ko na lang... because there are thing na i really can't change kahit na tumambling ako... just accept, forgive yourself for doing that, forgive yourself for allowing other people to hurt you when you are in charge of your emotions and forgive other people...
and continue loving yourself
~~~
They say
there's a universal plan
for every woman
for every man
I do believe
there's a higher power
but in our darkest hour
it's hard to understand
so we start to question
start to doubt
we lose faith in what life's all about
why did the right road
take the wrong turn
why did our heart break
why'd we get burned
just like the seasons
there are reasons
for the path we take
there are no mistakes
just lessons to be learned
don't give up
keep on looking deep inside
let your heartbeat
be your guide
cause there's a gift
for those who keep believing
you'll find what you've been needing
is right before your eyes
you'll hold the answer
in your hands
and then you'll know
you'll finally understand
why
why did the right road
take that wrong turn
why did our heart break
and why'd we get burned
just like the seasons
there are reasons
for the path we take
there are no mistakes
just lessons to be learned
no matter how many times
you stumble or fall
the greatest lesson
is loving yourself
through it all
why did the right road
take that wrong turn
why did our heart break
why'd we get burned
just like the seasons
there are reasons
for the path we take
there are no mistakes
just lessons
lessons
to be learned
~~~
Grabe... sabi ko i'm not gonna spend pero nagpa glitter tattoe ako and bubi = 75
then i bought cookies =40
i bought fries = 15
nag sandwich ako =25
and then i bought toy for ikoy = 120
amnd 2 strawberry frap = 60
hahahaha
anyway masaya naman yung bazaar... parang i'm expecting na mas worst pa diyan since talagang patay ang market sa saturday...
~~~
i want to go home early nung nalaman ko na wala si ahia.. meaning makaka computer ako... pero mukhang napasubo ako kasi tinawag ako for invocation
" panginoon, salamat po sa chance na binigay ninyo para maka celebrate kami ng fiesta ng maayos, salamat sa magandang panahon. sana po ay gabayan ninyo ang mga kakanta at sasayaw para maiwasan magkamali, sana din po ay gabayan ninyo ang mga judges upang makapag pili ng maayos at sana po ay mag enjoy ang lahat ng narito hinihiling namin ito sa ngayon ni kristo ang aming panginoon, amen"
taglish pa but who cares? hahaha ang taray
and then natawag din ako to judge.. wakanga.. eh ano bang alam ko sa ganyan but anyways...
naging favorite ng lahat ang kanta ni celine dion na to love you more... at pinagsawaan din yan ng mga hurado!!! grabe!!!
parang playful lang ako today.. kaya masaya =)
visited dreamland @ 11:55 PM
Friday, June 25, 2004
i woke up early to go to divisoria to buy stuffs with bubi for palarong pambata... grabe pag dating ko sa store.. parang gusto ko mag shopping for myself and not for the kids.. ahahaha parang balik bata ako.. ang saya saya... pero pinigilan ko sarili ko knowing na hindi ko naman kailangan yung iba...
nakakita din ako ng betty boop na wallet.. naisip ko si auntie tess... hindi ko nga lang alam kung magugustuhan niya yun pag binili ko yun... or kung gagamitin niya.. baka mag mukha siya katawa tawa sa states pag nakita yun ng friends niya
~~~
and then we went to world trade center to get idea lang for the september bridal fair... buti na lang doon talaga dumadaan ang fx at hindi na namin kinailangan maglakad pa ng malayo Ü... and dami dami palang puwedeng gawin... hindi lang yung rectangular table.. as crative as possible pala.. how i wish i am so creative para i can contribute sa pag papaganda..
hmm na inspire tuloy ako mag isip...
visited dreamland @ 12:40 PM
You must always remember...
Life can be a challenge...
Life can seem impossible...
It's never easy, when so much is all for life...
But you can make a difference...
With courage you can set things right...
The gift to dream and make dream real,
Is yours and mine...
The power of one!
Begins with believing!
It's starts in the heart...
Then flows through the soul...
And changes the world!
Imagine how life will be...
When we stand in unity...
Each of us holds the key...
To the power of one!
Each of us is chosen...
There's a mission just for you...
Just look inside...
You'll be surprised...
What you can do...
The power of one!
Begins with believing!
It's starts in the heart...
Then flows through the soul...
And changes the world!
Imagine how life will be...
When we stand in unity...
Each of us holds the key...
To the power of one!
Then one by one...
We can make the world...
A much better place!
The power of...
ONE!
Begins with believing!
It's starts in the heart...
Then flows through the soul...
And changes the world!
Imagine how life will be!
When we stand in unity!
Each of us holds the key...
It's inside of you and me!
Each of us holds the key...
To the power of one!
The power of one...
~~~
naalala ko lang yung sinabi ni tito kokoy sa heroic..
imagine how a song from a cartoons touch lives...
fyi.. this song is from pokemon ;)
visited dreamland @ 12:28 PM
Thursday, June 24, 2004
grabe 2 days na akong maaga nagigising... mukhang nagkaka chance na bumalik sa normal yung body clock ko...
yesterday, i went to dti pero nakakahiya kasi late na ako nagising.. napaintay ko na ng matagal yung messenger ni uncle alex... kakatawa.. that incident gave me the idea na wag muna maligo pag super nagmamadali na.. ahahaha kadiri.. nbut don't worry sandali lang ako doon and naligo agad pag-uwi
i went to barangay to see how is ikoy sa school... and super happy ako to see na he behaves well.. and cooperate sya sa mga pinapagawa ng teacher... hehehe dito sa haus kasi may sarili yang mundo...
nung gabi ang daming nangyari na hindi inaasahan.. pero petty lang lahat
-hindi nag coordinate si uncle alex kay auntie joy kaya natagalan for his birth certificate ... kung kailan nagmamadali
-si ahia.. muntik na ako hindi pagamitin ng computer kasi naglalaro siya (wataheck!!!)
-nagloko computer ni arl, when we were suppose to have a meeting
pero eventually things got well naman...
-nakuha pa din naman yung birth certificate
-napagamit pa rin sa akin yung computer
-nakapag virtual meeting pa din kami ni arlene
and then had a good conversation with her
parang natapos na yung space out stage
na i was able to compose myself again
and what made the conversation okay is that we learned each other's goal in life.
pero in a way nagulantang ako with her sharing about black box na even up to now parang i can't think of how things will be better but anyway.. i'm hopeful with the situation na things will fall into its place.
and then after that, i called up my comfy buddy... and what funny thing happened is that panay about sa love life namin yung napag usapan naman.. eh medyo we were resisting it... hehehehe
what you resist, persist hahahaha
and before i call it a night, medyo nakapag bonding ulit kami ni daddy through his vanity... ahahaha
~~~
kanina i woke up so early... mga 630.. himala yun... to go to dti again.. and then pag dating ko doon.. mga 7:45 (medyo matagal kasi nag jeep lang kami) ang haba ng pila... pang 63 na yung nakuha ko... kinausap ko na lang katabi ko para hindi boring...
and then i heard na everyday daw 300 yung nagpapagawa ng new name... grabe kung may 300 na business everyday eh di malaki ang chance na yumaman na ang mga tao.. hihihi
things went well naman except sa pag release ng name... imagine lahat ng na prepare ko may name na wang tapos yun pala yung bawal... ayaw din sa aj.. ayaw din sa alex.. and bigla na lang pumasok sa mind ko ang Secret Spices.. hmm sabi ni auntie joy parang pang witch craft daw.. pero sa sobrang ayaw na gumana ng brain ko.. ayaw ko na mag isip ... kaya yun na yung name namin...
grabe almost 12 na kami natapos... 4 hours in the making yun name...
went home ate a little and go back to sleep
kagigising ko lang...
maliligo pa lang ako ;p
kaya see you around
visited dreamland @ 4:57 PM
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
last night, i went to joisce's place for the mastermind and i felt so light na parang i don't feel different na kay John although i could still smell things i don't want to smell.
and then, the session went so well din although medyo rush na since gabi na kami nag start...
and then, we had pizza for dinner/snack kaya ang saya saya.... matagal na ako nag cra crave for pizza...
and then i find it miracle lang na si joisce ang nag brought up nung business maker idea sa mga tao.. akala ko kasi medyo ni re resist niya yon
~~~
last night before ako makatulog.. pumasok sa isip ko yung mga tao around.. parang na extend ko yung ki (aikido) sa kanila and then parang i was able to spread the blue bubble... love bubble ko....
this is something different
~~~
kaninang umaga ginising ako ni mommy ng 7am kasi ihahatid niya ako sa haus ni uncle alex... hindi ako magising.. pag bangon ko humiga ako ulit.. sabi ko kay mommy na pupunta na lang ako mag-isa later para i can sleep pa... so natulog ako ulit
naku 10 ++ na and dapat 10 ako aalis... buti na lang nung tinext ko si uncle alex okay sa kanya na almost lunch na kami mag meet.
nagmadali pa rin ako maligo and maghanap ng taxi kasi nakakahiya pag pinag hintay ko ng matagal...
nung nasa taxi na ako i miss called arlene, jeff and vangie
kasi i'm still waiting for their response sa text ko sa kanila last night. hindi ko alam if bibitaw na lang ako somewhere if i don't get any response from them. (now i've jst realized na same lang yan sa multi vine.. focus on the goal and not on the obstacle, and somehow i know na i have spotters around who wouldn't let me fall)and eventually ni let go ko na ang issue.. parang let God nalang.. knowing na i did my part na naman..
when i arrived sa office ni uncle alex.. nag meeting kami kaagad.. we discussed about the carpenter, the in and out of money and then dti.. medyo inactionan na namin so tom nasa dti ako early in the morning. parang naging happy ako kasi at that moment sobrang focus ako sa dapat mangyari kaya nakakaisiap ako kaagad ng mga concerns ko.
afterwards, pinakain niya kami ni cely ng masarap na chinese food... thank god.. gutom na gutom na kasi ako non...
and then pumunta na kami sa bank.. naku.. naisip ko agad yung mastermind namin.. ang galing... parang "ask and you shall receive" in a way nakakakilabot na din...
and then uwi na ako agad... pahinga sana pero aalis later.. baka hindi na ako maka computer kaya computer ako now....
visited dreamland @ 4:42 PM
Monday, June 21, 2004
naalala ko lang yung mga sinabi sa akin ng mga tao last week
Joisce told me na baka naman sa sobrang busy mo hindi mo na na nu nurture ang inner self mo.
napaisip tuloy ako...
siguro reminder lang pero hindi ko alam ano yung purpose kasi everyday pa din naman ako nag pra pray.
Fr. Nolan told us during his homily last friday na we are working hard na lang for money. he also told us to carry our crosses.
in a way tinamaan din ako.. parang naisip ko yung ginawa ko kay John Que, na parang binitawan ko na lang all of a sudden.
same with 2 other friends pa na hinayaan ko na lang...
~~~
Auntie Shirley Cheng told me naman na kitang kita ako sa tv umpisang umpisa pa lang
Lou told me na puwede na daw ako mag artista
Jaja told me na i am glowing daw
Paul told me na i am blooming
nakaka tuwa....
visited dreamland @ 5:02 PM
Sunday, June 20, 2004
i woke up early yesteday kasi kakanta kami sa blessing...
when i went to st. peter nagulat na lang ako at tinanong ako ni fr. manny kung ano yung puwede niyang ilagay sa homily niya na something bad na starts with letter "T". Super funny lang kasi parang antok na antok pa ako and bangag pa kaya wala talaga akong maisip.
and then, nung dumating na si Abraham, nagulat ako kasi sabi niya 4 lang daw kami... ngek, choir pa ba yon.. ni wala man lang soprano.
nung nakita ko yung may-ari ng building.. naku mukhang mataray... tapos 4 lang kami... hmmm..pero since super antok ako.. hindi na lang ako nag-isip..
the mass went well naman.. konti lang kasi yung tao and maliit yung space kaya okay na rin na mahina lang kami...
grabe, ang daming food.. ang sarap sarap pa.. super busog...
and then, nakipag bonding sa amin yung may ari... wow ang bait bait pala... :)
went to john's place to watch pirates of carribean .. hindi ko pa kasi napanood.. pero nakatulog din ako kaya hindi ko na lang pinanood.. short lang yung sleep ko pero happy na din ako.. parang energized ako after.. what a power nap?!?!?
pag tapos manuod, pumunta na kami sa st. peter.. andun pala sila paula and carla and kervi.. nag memeeting for the love ministry.. sana nakatulong ako through my suggestions.
nung mass na.. hindi ako maka kanta.. feeling ko ang sikip sikip... parang hindi ako maka concentrate...
anyways, after ng mass biglaan lang, lumabas kami ng college friends ko .. we went to giligan.. short lang yung time namin together but i really enjoyed a lot.
went homena agad to watch 24... super enjoy.. sayang antok na antok na talaga ako kaya tinulugan ko na...
~~~
Today, i woke up because Lou (A friend from iloilo) texted me na he saw me raw sa TV we were in IBC 13 kasi dahil sa Family TV mass
go back to sleep kasi antok na antok pa talaga ako...
when i woke up.. naku malapit na ako ma late..
went to st. peter 10:10 na buti na lang.. late din nag start..
after that we went to uncle alo and prayed the rosary lang...
i saw legarda... so simple lang...
then went to jaja's place.. people played mah jong, ako sleep and watch tv lang...
and now since minamadali na ako ng mga tao
i'll be back na sa panunuod ng 24 =)
~~~
what a simple weekend..
pero a lots of wins
and in a way lots of learnings na din.
and i felt so great because i know na si God yung nagbigay sa akin ng lahat ng yan...
visited dreamland @ 10:27 PM
Saturday, June 19, 2004
i woke up around 7am kanina dahil sa isang call.. hmp!!! super late na ako natulog last night and may mang gigising pa.. i rejected the call at matutulog ako ulit... and then wala pang 3 minutes nag text naman... "ano ba ayaw niyo ba talaga magpatulog" and then nung binasa ko yung text nagulat ako with the message.. nawawala ang friend ni achi at hinahanap na siya ng nanay niya... ginising ko agad si achi, hindi ko kasi alam kung anong sasabihin ko... anyways.. after niyan ay talagang natulog ako ulit.. may 2 hours pa ako...
i woke up 9am and prepared for the tv mass shooting.. medyo worried din ako knowing na kulang kulang kami.. but anyway i am ready to give my best naman so siguro enough na yun...
pag dating ko sa st. peter.. nakita ko agad sila jetsson.. and i teased him.. birthday kasi ni paula...
na late nag start yung tv mass because the crew left something and hinintay pang dumating.. medyo nakakaawa nga lang yung mga crew ksi nagiging impatient na sila sister and si mrs.lopez...
but anyway natuloy din naman and okay naman yung nangyari.. in a way.. tinamaan din ako sa homily about the cross...naisip ko lahat ng taong naging cross ko and naisip ko rin sarili ko towards other people...
pag uwi ko.. nagpatawag sa akin si uncle alex.. tutulungan na niya ako tungkol sa chef na prinuprublema ko... and then nag set na din kami ng date para sa pag open ng bank account ko
super good news talaga yun for me
natatawa din ako kay cely (secretary) kasi super paulit ulit sya magkuwento ng walang sawa... aprinuprublema niya yung katulong niya.. eh naman no may sariling buhay yung tao... hayaan niya kung magboyfriend bsta gawin yung trabaho anyways...
i'm happy din for ikoy, mukhang set na siya para pumasok sa school sa monday... complete na yung things niya... sana lang he'll behave well... wala naman kasing prublema kung sa talino lang yung pag-uusapan kasi bibo kid naman yun...
grabe this afternoon sinamahan ko si achi para i meet si joisce super duper hirap magtawag ng taxi as in 1 hour kami ni achi sa labas ng house na amoy araw na kami... siguro 1 win i got there is nakita ko si anet.. well, we are not so close pero parang i can feel the connection.. syempre magpinsan kami eh and nakita ko ang aking inaanak.. Ü
buti na lang mabait yung taxi driver and buti na lang at hindi nag hintay ng matagal si joisce.. gusto ko sana order ng hot choco.. kaya lang dahil sa pag intay ng taxi.. nauhaw ako at coke na lang ininom ko... whew.. refreshing!!
happy ako kasi in a way super connect sila ng sis ko and mukhang may mangyayaring maganda.. hihihih mukhang matutuloy mag invest si joisce para sa business nila achi... win win!!!
and then after the meeting, we went to tito kokoy's bro's wake..
nakakaaliw tingnan si tito kokoy kasi super kengkoy pa rin siya (kahit na hindi siya promoter) and then for the 1st time nakita ko siya.. nakatabi ko siya .. nakausap ko siya not as faci but as friend... super previledged talaga ako...
and then nung pauwi na.. super sleepy ako as in pumipikit na eyes ko sa car ni eins..
hahaha pero hanggang ngayon 1:29am na gising pa ako...
---
happy rin ako kasi sabi ni jaja nag glow daw ako na parang pang starcircle ang dating.. hahahahaha
visited dreamland @ 12:42 AM
Thursday, June 17, 2004
buti na lang tulog si ahia... heheh nakasingit ako kahit hindi nakapag pa appointment.. grabe kasi tong computer na to.. pinakasalan na ng kapatid ko na masyadong seloso.. binabantayan kami everytime na gumagamit kami...
grabe.. i checked the supplier for my counter... imagine sa pinuntahan ko.. 50,000 and then nag check ako sa buy and sell magazine.. meron naman brand new pero a little smaller lang.. 19,500 lang.. kaya lang sa SAN MATEO RIZAL pa!! wow... ang layo sobra... pero i'll check on that since more than 30,000 ang difference...
last night nagtelebabad kami ni joisce.. super funny kasi ang dami akong nalaman na parehas kami... like yung loyalty to something. to a person or basta loyalty... kasi parang we want to take all the seminars straight from psi.. and then super parehas din yung effect ng psi sa faith namin.. kaya nga hindi ako interested with occi (for now)..and then sabi ko sandali lang kami mag-uusap... na bo bored lang ako.. pero it turned out na 2 hours pa rin kami sa phone..hmm.. sino kaya ang madaldal sa amin.. hehehehehe
kaya pala ako sulat ng sulat ngayon is bec. i was inspired with lissa, natuwa daw kasi siya nung nabasa niya ang entries ko.. sana mas marami pa akong mapasaya... hihihihi
naisip ko lang i try ang cutes_account sa ym.. kahit hindi ko siya ginagamit at ang daming nag pa add.. kaya naisip ko na yun na lang ang gagagmitin ko since madami ang alam na yun ang email ko..
Ü
visited dreamland @ 7:35 PM
I have often dreamed, of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, this is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile, will be worth my while
When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though that road may wander, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeatIt's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star, I will go the distanceI will search the world, I will face its' harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
I will search the world, I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
visited dreamland @ 4:08 PM
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
sayang.. ayaw tanggapin yung little wang's kitchen.. hindi ko alam why..pero try ko ulit.. siguro dapat talaga great wang's kasi great na ako now eh.. alam ko yan inside and out...
God is with me kasi eh...
to share my wins for the day
win ko na i was able to chat with lissa pastor.. miss ko na kasi siya...
win ko rin na no much prob...
win ko na nakapag hot oil ako.. kahit na medyo tinatamad ako
and i thank God for all that
A girl name mean mijares called up.. emcee daw siya... well, feeling ko sign na ito na ang bbx na lang ang goal ko for shooters... bec. pinasok ko to before and i can't just leave bbx na not in its best figure
sana i can do things para mas masaya... like we can join sana bridal fairs.. and whatsoever...
sana makilala na din kami dito and sana dumami ang projects namin...
sarap makining ng go the distance and ng faith of the heart.. addict na ako sa mga songs na yan... refreshing kasi and parang laging happy pag naririnig ko yan...
visited dreamland @ 9:02 PM
additonal win ko rin ang yahoo.. bigger space na... yipee =)
visited dreamland @ 2:00 AM
morning started out na parang super okay... i have my blue bubble around me kaya i am not affected with negative things happening around...
and on our way to san juan, i had a good nap na started from a meditation (hihihi) so pag dating namin doon, uncle george, auntie luchi and i talked about some business opportunities, which i told uncle george to look for more details para naman we can work on it. since mukha namang madali...
and the best thing happened today is that okay na kay uncle alex ang aking business proposal.. of course with minor changes but atleast okay na and mukhang eventually mas magiging okay pa... answered prayers talaga..
and then nung hinatid na ako pauwi ni uncle george... parang happy ako that i was able to enlighten some of his thought and nabuhayan din ako na parang hopeful pa rin pala siya sa life despite of all his problems... na mas masarap siyang tulungan...
nung hapon naman.. i feel so excited and uneasy kasi parang something is wrong about sa gusto ni uncle alex, kinulit ko pa nga si mom kung puwede ko na i clarify and sabi niya tom am na daw...
but nung gabi si uncle alex mismo ang nagpatawag para sa mga questions ko
i also felt happy with the emergency meeting kasi mas na affirm ko na connected pala talaga kami ni jaja..
happy din ako for joisce that she was able to break the board..
happy din ako for bubi kasi malaki chance niya for the scholarship...
parang lahat na lang ng nangyari today is win...
thank you lord!!
visited dreamland @ 1:36 AM
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
woke up because of desmund's text na ma mo moved and 1st intensive.. na hindi ko alam if this is a good news or not, baka tamaan ang fiesta but to give way sa 50th anniv mass.. wag sana.. let's see... naku, i'll pray lang na sana mag give way sa pareho...
and then read arlene's text... ???
i feel light lang thru out, kaya naisipan kong umpisahan mag clear out ng clutter..
mukhang tiba tiba bec. mukhang maraming gustong bumili ng tiles...
sana matuloy because we have a money goal here.. reachable naman pero medyo long way pa...
sana tom. marami pa kaming malinis na stuffs para mas marami kaming mabenta..
and then went to mastermind.. kaya lang super late sila john, so bonding muna kaming tatlo...
hindi ako comfy.. hindi ko alam kung dala pa rin ng pms. but i really enjoyed the conversation with joisce and chamie.. super malaman ang mga tsismis.. ahahahaha
mastermind went so well naman.... na super na feel na namin....
sarap talaga makipag kuwentuhan... if maaga lang sana kami nag start..
dibale.. next time...
visited dreamland @ 1:06 AM
Sunday, June 13, 2004
for the past weekend parang wala akong gana and antok lang and right now i am not feeling well.. sinisipon kasi and mukhang lalagnatin pa if i do not sleep early...
tapos parang wala talaga ako sa mood, parang sana matapos na agad tong day na ito na tomorrow would be a lot better day na i won't feel anything bad lalo na sa mga small things lang.... and then parang wala akong comfort buddy for the day.. (buti na lang monday na tom. atleast i can be with my mm group).
i don't know what should i feel, parang feeling ko i am left behind but i don't want to feel less than. feeling ko sa sobrang serious ko people doesn't want to be with me na... pero i believe na i am worthy. feeling ko gusto ko mainis pero mas pipiliin kong i extend ang blue bubble ko so as not to be affected.
(joisce, sana mabasa mo to. i can't wait to talk to you na.. my comfort buddy!!!)
visited dreamland @ 11:52 PM
mom woke me up this morning so i can prepare for the meeting i am suppose to attend. kaya lang last minute na pospone.. na feel ni mom na sayang sana tumuloy na lang siya sa tutuban to return stuffs na hindi kasya kay ahia, and part of me felt the same na sana natuloy na lang ako makipag bonding with my mastermind buddies but anyway parang ayaw ko na rin isipin.
i tried not to think about the report i am suppose to submit when i glanced on it. parang all of a sudden na realize ko na i can still cut the cost na para tugma sa gusto ng aking investor na price. so i did the computation again and asked for some advices.. mukhang okay naman.
i tried to organize myself this afternoon, my scheds, my concerns in life, pero parang ang blank lang... hindi ko alam if blank siya talaga or my mind just want to relax.
anyway i fixed myself and prepared for today's practice..
and then parang i felt sad.
parang all of a sudden, nag iba na ang lahat.
we are growing apart na na parang i can't find a comfort buddy.
na hindi ko alam if i just want to feel special again or maybe i need to let other people feel special din.
basta parang confused ako... hindi ko alam ano ba ang gusto ko mangyari...
and then part of my supporter side is speaking na this is just a phase and parang just hang on.. and hindi ko rin alam if ano bang gusto mangyari ng mga tao.
and i don't know if i should care or not.
do people care pa ba for me? i don't think so.
but anyway, at the end of the day basta masaya ang mga tao around and that i know where to run i guess okay na din...
anyways, went to rp lang, nag arcade to let go of the negative feelings...
visited dreamland @ 12:18 AM
Saturday, June 12, 2004
when i woke up, i thought today would be a lousy day,i felt so tired of revising the report for uncle alex, haven't done a lot for that project (buti na lang productive ako yesterday)
After lunch, Jec came along para mag tambay, wala lang.. hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin namin, no good program sa tv. buti nag enjoy siya with etc channel and nag enjoy siya mag internet after.. at ako ay pahiga higa na lang...
We went to Fr. Obet's dispedida.. and funny lang kasi hindi namin alam na kami pala ang kakanta at tatatlo lang kami (obvoius na hindi kami ready for it) pero mukhang at the end of the day okay naman.. kaysa sa walang kumanta...
and then happy din ako at kahit papaano nakatulong ako with the bazaar sa pag kausap kay paula and jetsson, sana maging successful and sana ganahan ako ng makatulong pa.
after the party we went to starbucks, i want something cold kasi.. parang ang init init today, we had a good conversation naman.. and parang connect lahat ng tao which is unexpected.
the day is simple lang pero kahit papaano may mga few learnings and wins ...
visited dreamland @ 2:25 AM
Thursday, June 10, 2004
last night pa ako namrumrublema paano ko ibababa ang 350,000 na capital to 250,000... at hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin naiisip...(erika, hindi lang yan iniisip... kailangan pa yang ng research kaya kung ako sa iyo ay mag umpisa ka na mag research...) oo nga naman...
nafe feel ko na magiging busy ako hanggang mga sept or october... well, okay lang dahil yan ay magandang prublema... prublemang masarap prublemahin.. hahahaha
ei, may na alala ako.. sabi ni Ms. Sheila kay don..
Don't work too hard just work smart... tama nga naman... atleast mas masaya mag work...
gusto ko na maligo.. at ang init init dito...
see you again!!!
visited dreamland @ 1:41 PM
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
woke up late na, parang i don't know what to do today kahit na may list na ako ng things to do...3pm na and haven't done anything yet
and i have to remind myself pa to be on purpose and stay focus.
parang nakakapagod mag search ng mga materials na may exact size and right now hindi ko pa alam kung anong size ang kailangan ko.. parang hmmm.....or tinatamad lang talaga ako....
last night, nag coffee ako with fr. manny, tophe, buloy and arl... parang na feel ko na medyo unti unti na akong nalalayo sa st. peter family ko.. is it because i am searching kaya for something else, or i need to grow outside, or maybe because i found a community where i am much more safe, where i can un masked myself, where there is no competition,where everything is a win -win situation, where i earned my life back. hindi ko tuloy alam if i am in the right track pa or not pero feeling ko rin na i need to learn to live a healthy life with the environment i used to live kahit na mas magulo, mas hindi safe, puno ng prejudgement because i believe that the eagle in me will soar higher and will be able to breakthrough all the storms in the sky....
visited dreamland @ 3:13 PM
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Love ko XX3!!!!
visited dreamland @ 7:40 PM
me and my buddy Thea!!!
visited dreamland @ 7:37 PM
i woke up today and thought of all the learnings again and all the people who touched my life in their most unique ways and felt so thankful (thank you miss sheila, miss ernie, tito joey, mike bart, danna woman, mel, don, miyos, yva, rj, nice, chams, wowie, john que and syempre si chief!!)
our maid whose working na sa saudi just textd me.. grabe buti na lang she's okay na doon and coping up naman although miss na miss na niya ang kanyang anak...
~~~
It's been a long road,
To get from there to here.
It's been a long time,
but my time is finally here.
And I can feel a change in the wind right now.
Nothing's in my way.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more.
No they're not gonna hold me down.
'Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe.
I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul.
And no one's going to bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
I've got faith,
I've got faith,
Faith of the heart.
It's been a long night,
Trying to find my way.
Been thru the darkness,
Now I finally have my day.
And I will see my dream come alive at last.
I will touch the sky.
And they're not gonna hold me down no more.
No they're not gonna change my mind.
'Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe.
I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul.
And no one's going to bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
I've got faith,
Faith of the heart.
I know the wind's so cold,
I've seen the darkest days.
But now the winds I feel,
Are only winds of change.
I've been thru the fire,
And I've been thru the rain,
But I'll be fine.
'Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe.
I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul.
And no one's going to bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
'Cause I've got faith,
'Cause I've got faith,
Faith of the heart...
Faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.
I've got faith to believe.
And no one's going to bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
'Cause I've got faith,
'Cause I've got faith,
Faith of the heart...
It's been a Long Road...
visited dreamland @ 12:59 PM
grabe!!! imagine 11 hours ang tulog ko... woke up lunch time na...naku may appointment pa naman ako and i promise myself na i'll be productive this week.
buti na lang.. super productive yung meeting ko... and kahit marami pa ring things to do atleast i'm grounded na... parang cellphone na nag low batt and then nag charge
i am also happy for my micro budz bec parang gusto na nila mag staff and mag take ng star shooters.
yesterday naman super na touch ako as in mega touched nung nag tee up for heroic... grabe and i know mike rj trina and john are really happy for me as well... nakakaiyak
visited dreamland @ 1:44 AM
Sunday, June 06, 2004
miss writing na sa blog... i was so busy with psi staffing right now. grabe it's so fulfilling... although i felt sad and heavy bec of one activity na pangit ang outcome....
na learn ko lang today is that if we are not able to spread the happiness we feel.. parang hindi pa rin happy yon... (naisip ko lang thru the psi dance).
i'm happy yesterday kasi may mga nag order na ng milkfish.. yun lang naman yung way para hindi na laging magalit si mommy.. and buti na lang hindi lang isa ang bumili.. at mukhang parami na ng parami... wow!!! i'm creating it kasi eh.. hehehehehe
watched harry pot pot... medyo na weirduhan ako kasi parang umpisa pa lang tapos na agad... hmm.. but anyways okay lang kasi hindi naman ako sobrang attached with it and marami pang ibang magandang isipin....
haaayyy... pahinga na.... heavy pa rin kasi yung feeling eh...
visited dreamland @ 12:25 AM
Thursday, June 03, 2004
I'm 21, don't know if too young or just right to dream big!!! Parang everything's almost okay na... konting work na lang.. pero part of me is afraid of big responsibilities... if i don't work hard naman i might end up na as if hindi ako nag dream in life... sabi nila.. sa umpisa lang yan... well, i hope.. grabe sobrng gusto ko pang mag enjoy no...
Sometimes, naiintindihan ko yung mga taong hindi nagiging successful because of some attachments... parang ako.. although nag let go ako... i kindda feel sad pa rin na why can't i have it all....
pero actually happy naman ako.. mas gugustuhin ko na yung ganitong feeling... atleast this will lead to abundance...
parang answered prayers din... bec... parang i've been asking God na sana help me with my spiritual journey... and then ma fe feel mo na lang siya in a different way... na as if lagi siyang nakikipag laro sa akin... testing me always... pero happy rin ako na parang he didn't make it hard for me...
visited dreamland @ 12:19 AM
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
I find it weird lang last night na parang all of a sudden i get the bible to read the revelation... but wasn't able to finish it.. hanggang chapter 13 lang ako.... pero babalikan ko yun...
and then nung before ako natulog... nakita ko naman yung da vinci code.. and binasa ko hanggang chapter 7 bago ako natulog.... and babalikan ko din ulit yon... ehehehehe
weird lang because hindi naman ako mahilig magbasa ng books (pero i want to have that liking para naman mas maging knowledgable ako sa mga bagay bagay).
paalis na si mayette in few minutes... i believe na she'll be fine in saudi and hopefully save a lot for her son jerikho... madyo naaawa lang ako for the kid... pero i promise to really help in raising him up habang wala pa yung mom niya...
and parang part of me feels like buti na lang hindi na kinailangan ng parents ko mag work abroad to raise us up..
kaya somehow thankful din ako....
hay.. grabe i really hope na maasikaso na yung LAN... para naman i can blog longer.. eh kasi naman....
visited dreamland @ 1:23 PM
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
upon reading somebody else's blog.. i felt like having a hard time in listening to what my heart says... parang laging kung ano yung practical side of things na lang yung napapansin ko and not what i feel about it...
well, i literally didn't do anything productive today... hmm.. and i don't know why... parang i just want to relax although i know that i really have tons of work to do...
but what good thing happened to me was
#1. i was able to meditate well... hmmm... hindi ako sanay mag meditate.. either lagi akong nakakatulog or naiidlip lang.. basta...
#2. kahit konti lang yung tao na nag attend sa singles.. parang sobrang okay yung discussion.. parang kahit papaano masarap mag pray for the departed souls... parang na fe feel ko na connected ako or tayo sa kanila... and parang i want to help them.... and i'm sure they are going to help me rin.. mukhang natatakot ako to be in purgatory...
~~~
got this feeling na.. parang being an entrepreneur is a talent din.. naisip ko lang yun because parang maraming taong takot mag try and then maraming walang like in it. and bakit parang love ko yung ganun??? so same with peole na mahilig mag art... maraming ayaw, maraming takot mag try and whatever..
hmm... okay din pala ang talent ko...
visited dreamland @ 10:24 PM
yesterday.. i had a meeting with edison (he was the one handling the food court)... and then sabi niya pag chinese food daw ako.. pasok na as in reserve na sa akin yung slot... and papapiliin na niya ako within the week... happy na ako kahit magpapalit ako ng menu because feeling ko assured na may business na ako...
on my way to joisce's place.. i remember kuya diego of mandarin oriental.. i'll be asking for help since expert siya sa dimsum.. and puwede pa siya mag tanong kay kuya val and the rest for me.. and then naalala ko when i was about to enter grade 6.. nag aral din ako ng chinese cooking tapos nag chinese kitchen pa ako sa mandarin so parang meant to be sa akin yung chinese food kahit i'm resisting it. "what you resist, persist"
mastermind went well naman. parang walang gap between each other kahit may konti since i am spacing out kaya nag feel better ako... and parang nagka hope na things will really be fine... and mas happy kami because mas na feel namin na parang we already received those we asked.. mas nakakakilabot...
medyo on purpose kami kaya ang bilis lang.. we went to coffee afterwards. kaya lang... walang guest so nag meeting na lang kami.. what happened was.. sumobrang dami ang plans ng outside staffs.. sana we can create funds for that...nakaka excite...
happy ako nung pauwi because sinundo ako ng aking alagang si ikoy... hehehehe and then nung nag kuwento ako kay mommy about sa meeting namin nila edison.. naging supportive naman siya by giving ideas... sa wakas..
that's yesterday...
visited dreamland @ 2:26 PM